Wow, it has been 5 weeks! I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed. We’ve been completely consumed by our baby but definitely in a good way. I’ve got a lot of ground to cover, so grab yourself a coffee and enjoy the read.
It was the early hours of Wednesday morning on the 18th October and I woke to the sound of Sarah on the phone. She was talking to someone explaining the pains were 5 minutes apart and her waters had broke. I wasn’t sure if it was a dream or it was real. I laid there, half asleep until she woke me properly.
It was 4:30 am, she seemed fine. Then a contraction started and she buckled over in pain. I called my in-laws and asked if they could take us to the hospital. It was strange because although it was happening, we were both calm, well except when a contraction came on.
I don’t remember much from the journey to the hospital, I just remember wanting to get there fast. We arrived and went straight into the delivery suite, a nurse immediately done an examination to see how far on Sarah was. She was measuring 4cm dilated, which was enough to keep her in. She was given gas and air which seemed to take the edge of slightly whenever the contractions came on, paracetamol too. It was a really unsettling feeling for me seeing her rive in pain, there was nothing ‘magical’ about it what-so-ever.
It was quite funny because we were talking to the midwife and she said before leaving her shift “well I hope you’re not here all day”. As soon as she left the room we both laughed in disbelief, we genuinely believed we’d be out by lunchtime. Oh, how wrong we both were! Around 8 pm that evening after a hideously long, stressful day, Sarah was eventually able to begin pushing. I’ve never seen anyone push as hard in my life, she was putting everything into it. She was just so tired, though.
She pushed and pushed for 4 hours straight, to no avail. The baby was turned to the side which meant she wasn’t moving down properly. The consultant tried moving the baby with his hands but couldn’t seem to manoeuvre her into the correct position. We were going to have to go into theatre.
I know that theatre is standard procedure for a lot of births but it doesn’t dawn on you how serious things can get until you’re filling out the disclaimers. Sarah genuinely believed she was going to die. I had to keep assuring her she was ok, she was in the best place and everything would be fine. It had been 18 hours since her contractions had started and she was utterly exhausted.
An hour later we were taken into theatre and she was given a spinal block. This completely numbed her from the chest down. They explained that this was done in case all else failed and we required a cesarean section. The plan was to use forceps, if that didn’t work they’d use the ventouse and if all else failed she would have a cesarean. Unfortunately, the forceps didn’t work, they still couldn’t move her into the correct position but she was successfully delivered by ventouse at 22:25 pm.
The Magical experience
So earlier in this post, I talked about how there was nothing magical about this experience at all. Well, I was lying. As soon as she was born and I laid eyes on her, I cried, and I cried, and I cried. The emotions were so overpowering. I’m not usually an emotional person, in fact, I can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve cried as an adult. This was so different, it was mind-blowing. It was magical. She was beautiful, she was mine. I made this little thing. Life was complete, we’d tried so hard to make this little baby and now she was here.
They placed her on Sarah’s chest but she couldn’t see her because she couldn’t sit up so I immediately grabbed her so Sarah could see. We were both so in love, it was like someone flipped a switch and it was love at first sight. Such a bizarre but beautiful feeling. THIS was what people were talking about. I’d do anything for this little baby. She has changed my outlook on life, I now work for something, I have someone to teach I have someone who relies on me.
After 2 days in the hospital, we were discharged and sent home. It’s a strange experience leaving the house then coming home with a human who belongs to you. So strange! We’ve settled in nicely and it continues to be a massive learning experience for us both. The sleepless nights are worse for Sarah as she’s been exclusively breastfeeding but she is doing amazing. I’m still awake several times a night as I can hear her stirring etc. but I don’t mind. We are getting more confident as the days go on but my god does it take us some time to actually leave the house.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank whoever invented coffee, you are truly a lifesaver. This is a tiring experience, but also the most rewarding and I couldn’t have done it without you. (If you make coffee, and want to hook a brother up, contact me!)
I’m aware this blog is dragging on so I’ll leave it here for now. I hope to resume my normal schedule next week with at least 1 post per week.